I recently had made a decision to leave my current position for a much better position, I turned in my resignation and made all the necessary arrangements to move onto greener pastures.  Somewhere between Sunday and Monday, I got this crazy feeling that what I was doing was not the right move for me at this time.  I sincerely thought that what I needed to do was make a change that It would possibly lead me onto something else.  What my heart was nudging me about was the amount of quality time it would take away from my family and those I care a great deal about.  Would this new opportunity lead me to helping others find their path to healing?

My grandchildren recently moved back in with me and I know that they need attention, they need structure, they need love.   These things can’t be given if you are not present.  My heart also was telling me that I needed to really search deep within me to see if this opportunity, though wonderful, was going to fit into my bigger picture of having an independent wellness practice.  Would it give me the time I needed to focus on my learning, to focus on the planning, to map out the details of what I wanted this business to look like, to feel like?  Would it allow me the time to breath and speak life into this journey I am on to Transform, Inspire and Empower Women to find healing through learning to care for themselves?   Would it allow me the freedom to visit my family, spend quality time with those I love or would it do the complete opposite because of the hours?

My mind says it’s a great move, it’s a necessary move, it’s a temporary move, and you can do anything for a year, the perks of the job are worth the nights and weekends away from the people I love.  My family, my relationships, my life.  My heart says I am at a crossroads and there is always some fear associated with crossroads.  Day 99 I talked about how I am going to always filter my logical decisions through my heart to find harmony, truth and peace with all my decisions.

I, like most everyone, have fears that take a hold of my entire being and refuse to let go.  Fears that stops us in our tracks, Fears that stop us from realizing our full potential in love, in our careers and in our lives.  I had seriously thought I had worked through most of my fears.  My fears of not being worthy enough, not strong enough, not valuable enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, always not enough.   Fears that said I was less than, fears that said you CANNOT do it.  In my MIND those voices often times were screaming and the voice of my heart got drowned out.  (those fears are the story someone else wrote for me, more on that topic at a later date) 

It took a mountain of determination and reprogramming my mind before some of those fears went away.  19 months later and each day is better than the day before.  I do have moments where something happens I get confused, hurt or unsure, and the fears tries to creep crawl its way back into my mind.  I am fully aware of the fingers of darkness, the chill of hatred and the gloom of despair now.  I have a network of people I can reach out to and I have an arsenal of weapons I rely on when my MIND tries to draw be backwards.  I have my favorite weapons, Dancing, singing (completely off key but its only me that hears and I think I’m a rock star) Books, Yoga, Meditation, Deep Breathing, Inspiring Words, my Tribe of Women and God!  He is the voice of LOVE that now screams, shouts and drowns out all the rest.  I have learned that he is my strength, he is my comfort, he is my love, he is the voice I hear in the darkness, he is the light that drowns out all the rest.  He is the light that lives and shines through my entire being.  He is the only reason I am where I am.  Where he resides there can be no darkness, no pain, no hurt, no envy, there can only be extreme love, peace, joy, compassion, mercy, grace and beauty!

So, today being a new day, reflection and soul searching I’ve decided to live into my destiny and stay on the road that I’m on, it will lead me to helping others Transform, Inspire, Empower and CREATE their lives.   Stay with me on this journey to Transformation…The JOURNEY IS JUST BEGINNING!  

We are going to create the life we want with diligence, determination, Self-Love! God who orchestras every detail of this life is on our side, he lives in you and me, and he is the source of our power, our strength, our grit in times of fears and doubt.

Day 98 To Transformation! 

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Transform, Inspire, Empower you to create lasting change in your life through a mind, body and soul connection!