As I sat in church this week and wrote my usual before church FB post.  I realized how many times I have written a FB post prior to church and Pastor Amanda or Aaron’s message confirms what I had already written, what my thoughts have been about that week, where my heart is currently.

I walked in this morning feeling completely ok with my world.  I had not one thought of needing anything today out of service, just wanted to be in his presence.   I was there for the pure enjoyment of worshipping the amazing creator we have and to give of his pure love to whoever I was around.  I was there to connect with other like-minded people who love our GOD.

My heart has been saying all week that it is time to walk out into the water and let go of things that don’t serve me or anyone else. Let go of the pettiness in my life, the thoughts of being less than, after all the work I have done this last year and a half, sometimes the less than thoughts come back.  The thoughts of not ever doing enough, not being enough, not being good enough, not cared for, not understood, not accepted, the NOT list could go on for hours.

I have been looking deeply into my soul to truly see, feel and understand what resonates with me.  Looking deeply into my soul to measure what is going on with me, to dream of the life I know is on the horizon, to feel the presence of our creator.   Like many of you, music is my first way into the door of the spirit.  Music speaks to me like a well written book, it brings me into a sacred space of pure love and joy.  Reading and Meditation are my other pathways into the spirit.  They open up my mind and my heart to fully understand what is being said and this week he is telling me to “Walk on the Water”.

My creator has allowed me to let go of all the traumas of a childhood and adulthood that were for me to experience but not to carry.  I finally understand that he is the one who carries it all.  My God is the one who held me the entire time even when I didn’t know it, feel it, and especially when I turned away and didn’t believe.  Today was a day of tide turning; of overflowing spirit work and of mountains moving.

I am on your path, I am walking with you, I am your vessel and you are the word and the way.   I started on my journey almost 2 years ago to heal my brokenness, to heal the wounds, to heal the body.   He has restored what was broken and crushed so thoroughly that I look back on the past 47 years and I don’t recognize the person I was.

I had no idea 9 months ago when I walked through the doors of church on Christmas Day that this journey would fast forward in such a mind altering way.  Sunday, with the tears flowing and the heart bursting he emptied the last of the doubt, anxiety, fear, insecurity, worry, and hatred.  He has been filling me up so much the last 9 months and that he has pushed all the toxic, non-believing, just going through the motions out of my entire being.  He has already filled me with his love, his joy, is heartbeat and his breath.  I know he is going to continue to fill me with his word, his purpose, his desire, because I BELIEVE in a crazy life altering miracle making “walking on water” kind of GOD.  It’s been the thought that won’t go away, that one thought has brought me to tears and brought me to laughing out loud.

The message is for me to trust completely; that no matter what chaos is going on around me, work, family, life, all I need to do is keep my eyes on my Creator.  Trust for this girl was incredibly hard for so long, to this day letting go is not the easiest thing I have ever done.  However, I am blessed that I know how much I am loved and Love naturally cannot reside in the same space as resistance and holding onto.   When God and You fill up the empty spaces in your heart and your mind, LOVE overflows like a river into your entire being.  Surrender and trust naturally happen and it’s incredibly beautiful.  It fills up the cracks and crevices, it fills up the holes at the very core of you.

I have said that I will God, I am your vessel.  He promises to walk with me and you, carry all of us when we can’t walk anymore, breathe for us when we can’t breathe anymore, he promises to be our strength, our peace in the storm, our joy in the heartbreak, our LOVE when we are lonely, our protector from all danger.  The creator I know does NOT change his mind, he doesn’t ever waffle, he doesn’t ever let us down, he doesn’t ever negotiate anything less than. 

The thought for today is…

How do we mindfully start our journey of “Walking on the Water”?  How do we start the process of tuning in, listening, hearing, filling up?

You have to get into your own sacred space.  Define it, create it, and be in it each day.  This means WHO you allow into your life.  Does your entire being breathe a sigh of relieve when they are near you? Does your heart say, thank you God for sending this person to me? Do they support you, bring you joy, hold you when you cry, laugh with you, dance with you, encourage, and touch you with healing? Listen when you need a shoulder?  or Not?  IF the answer is NOT, then hear me when I say you need to look at the WHY you want that person in your life? You need to decide how you are going let it continue or not!

You have to mindfully make a decision to do this.  You are the only one who can decide how this takes place.  You are the only one who can decide what you feed your soul, what you feed your mind, what you feed your body.  Our minds, our souls, our bodies are connected as one and joined with our creator but you have to choose to start listening and acting!

Are you ready? Are you willing? Are you, like me ready to “Walk on the Water”?

Matthew 14:29 Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.