Have you loved someone so deeply, so fully that the thought of that person can bring you to tears?   Tears of joy, tears of peace, tears of love; a pastor told me this weekend to never worry about my tears again because God bottles them up and keeps them in a sacred place.  Have you loved someone so deep and so fully that the very thought of that person not being in your life every day, every second could bring you to the edge of life?  Have you loved them so deeply and so fiercely that all you want for them is to have all their dreams, all their desires, all their wants to be complete?

I like most people love music, it speaks to the very core of who I am.  I can’t sing a note, I can’t write a lyric and I can’t play an instrument much to my utter disappointment.  (On a side note I am a secret “rock star” in my house and in my car.)  Honestly, I don’t love all music and I have phases I go through where certain styles of music touch me more than others but none the less music has always spoken to me.   Like many of us it has gotten me through some very difficult times.  It will always be an anchor in my storms, it will always be like the rain and cleanse my soul as it washes over me.

I know that it can heal a broken heart, I know that it can help heal a sick body, it can lift you up or bring you down.  It is one of the instruments God gave us because it is extremely powerful and it speaks to us at a level beyond our physical mind and body.  Gifts are given by our creator and we are all given natural abilities some are given business acumen, some are given gifts of science and biology, some are given the gift of poetry, some are given the gift of music, of writing, of teaching, of preaching, of speaking, of working with the elderly or the sick.  These are all gifts that come directly from our Father to fulfill His purpose in our lives and on this earth.  I believe that we are all born with gifts; things that come easily to us but we still have to develop them, practice and take the time for them.

Corinthians 12:7-11 English Standard Version (ESV)        

⁷ To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. ⁸ For to one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, ⁹ to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, ¹⁰ to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. ¹¹ All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills.

My Father needed me to listen, He needed to get my attention, He needed me to finally get it; so He orchestrated this incredible “meeting” of the one soul who could and would bring me fully back to Him.

Our Father knows us so fully, so deeply, so well that He knew exactly what it would take to get me to open myself up to His love so that He could fulfill His purpose in me.  He knew exactly what He was doing when He orchestrated a chance meeting of two souls.  He used the door way of music, which at the time was the only one that wasn’t completely locked down to Him.  Through my experience I know that He will move the heavens and the earth to get to even one of His lost souls.  He will come looking for you no matter where you’re at, who you think you are or where you think you are going.  Once you are His, He never leaves you.

Deuteronomy 31:8 New International Version (NIV)

⁸ The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

I understand today that I have always been His; I just chose to think I wasn’t.  The minute He spoke to me as a nine or ten-year-old girl and said “Come to me”. I was already His.  The devil has a way of coming in and doing his best to stop us from walking in the full upright power of our Father.  He uses our current situation, he uses the people around us, He uses the yolks from past generations to lie, to steal and to pull you away from the power of our Father.  Why?  because he knows when we walk in the power of our Father nothing is impossible, no mountain, no roadblocks, can stop the fulfillment of His Glory.  There is nothing that can stop God from doing what needs to be done for His purpose, His glory and no matter how far you go, no matter what you do or have done, no matter your current situation.  Your name was written on His heart and everything, every word, every act can be turned around and used for His purpose.

God can turn anyone into His disciple for His purpose:

Acts 9: 1 & 20 

9 And Saul, yet breathing out threatening’s and slaughter against the disciples of the Lord, went unto the high priest… ²⁰ And straightway he preached Christ in the synagogues, that he is the Son of God.

My experiences in this life have all been for me to fully understand the absolute complete power of my Father.  I was born into a family that by peoples’ standards weren’t worth the ground we walked on.  I was a child thrown away, we were dirt poor, there were times that I can remember when we didn’t have shoes, we were dirty because we didn’t have running water or food to eat, we were the lowest of the low and everyone in that little town in the country knew it.  They knew my birth parents, they knew what my mother did and they knew my father.   That was the family I was born into but that isn’t the family I was created from.

The devil said you aren’t worthy my entire life no one wants you, your own blood threw you away, even the foster mother you love so much doesn’t want you, you see; you are worthless, why would you think anything different.   Yes… those words, and the actions of others lead me to believe that I wasn’t.  I didn’t believe that anyone could love me the way I needed to be loved, so I looked for it in the wrong places and it became about WORKS and what you DO in life instead of the relationship with our Father and loving myself because I was created to be more than what I was born into.   

John 10:27-29King James Version (KJV)

²⁷ My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:²⁸ And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.²⁹ My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand.

I now know that God gave me a person whose passion, gift and love is his music because my Father knows my soul.  He knows that music moves me into places I can never go by myself.  It moves the mountains of doubt for me, it is through music that I can get into the presence of my Father and it is through music that I get inspired.

God brought this amazing soul into my world because He knew exactly the person my soul has longed for; He knew when I didn’t.  When your life is restored, naturally your perspective changes; you begin to truly see the beauty that surrounds you, you begin to understand what the word miracle means and you begin to experience and be aware that miracles are surrounding you every day; even in the simple everyday walk of life.  You see the beauty in all of His creations, you see the beauty in the heavens and in the faces of the people you come in contact with.  You hear and see the beauty in the long winter days and the long summer nights.  You begin to hear how alive our world is and you begin to understand how precious every creation is.

John 1:3 NIV   3: Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.

This one person walking into my life ordained by God has been a miracle for me.  It’s a miracle of what love looks like, it’s a miracle of what it feels like to brush against a soul and not ever want to be separated from that soul again.  It’s a miracle in the amount of love that grows when its fed by God, when He breathes life into love and when He walks with you both.  He opens the doors to a whole world you as a person could never imagine.  He throws open the eyes of the soul and that is the lens you forever look through.

When God says I found you and I need you, He walks into your life, throws open the doors to heaven and your entire world shifts enough so that two souls can meet for his purpose!

I never dreamed it would be so incredibly beautiful, I never dreamed my soul would sigh and breathe again.  I didn’t realized until recently that I have been holding my breath my entire life just waiting for you.  I never dreamed that my heart would skip a beat in your presence or that I would miss you the second you left.  I never dreamed that I could love someone other than my children so much that I would want to take all your pain, all your hurts, or that I would want to heal and shield you from all of life’s sorrows.  I never dreamed I would want to hold your soul gently in my hands.  I never dreamed I would love you until I draw my last breath and even then I will love you through eternity.  I never dreamed that once I finally understood that I love my Father so completely, so thoroughly, so deeply that He would allow me to feel this kind of bone deep love of another.  It is the Love I have for Him that overflows into the love I have for you.

Father:

I am on my knees grateful for my experiences in this life because it has allowed me to know the true miracle of a love I never knew could exist.   Thank you for a love that I never imagined possible. Thank you for a world where I can see through the eyes of another soul the beauty of life in just walking and talking.  Thank you for the healing that has taken place for me to believe in you, in your power, in your love. Thank you for the beauty of enjoying the simple act of looking at the stars and just being with each other. Thank you for the gift of his presence which makes me feel complete; it’s like the last puzzle piece of a body and soul that has been missing.  It is the fulfillment of a prayer I didn’t even know I had until he walked in…..

Psalm 37:4

 4: Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.