I didn’t know what living was, I didn’t know that there was a Joy that settles deep in your bones and won’t go away even in the midst of chaos and a world falling apart at the seams.

Thank God, He has completely restored me from the scars that have been left by those I should have been able to trust. Deep wounds that were created by someone who mistook my kindness for weakness, who mistook my devotion to my family for weakness, a person who twisted and used my past and my strong will for a family unit against me.

The enemy starring directly in my eyes day in and day out. The enemy has a way of manipulating and destroying all hope.  The enemy shouted you will never get out of this, the enemy shouted you are such the failure. The enemy who didn’t realize that he should have just killed me when he had the chance, because when God walks in and gets a hold of you, when He steps in and fights your battles there is nothing that can stop Him. 

The little girl who had to fight for the survival of her and her siblings is also the adult woman who will fight for everything that she believes in.  God has stepped in and the enemy has no power to look me in the eye ever again. Why, because I am covered by the wings of the Father, I am shielded by His Grace.  He reached down from Heaven and breathed life back into my body when I couldn’t take another second of the agony. He reached down and whispered in my ear this is all for my purpose, so come on I’ve got you. He shouted to me that this pit isn’t where you are staying. You are coming with me for my purpose and what was always your destiny.  Don’t try and tell me differently because I know who holds my future, my tomorrow and my every second.

Listen to me say this with a conviction that only comes from someone who has by the Grace of God walked through hell and come out on the other side.  People are most often hurt by their inner circle, the people who are supposed to love them, the people who are supposed to have their backs.  They are the people who are the slayers of the soul.  

If you are the slayer I pray that you will really hear the cries of those you are slaying.  I pray you are convicted by the Holy Spirit to feel the pain of the person you are hurting and get the help you need.  

The enemy will manipulate, destroy, hurt you and then turn around and make it seem like its your own fault.  I was not the one who lashed out against the very person who was supporting you, I was not the one who yelled, criticized, and destroyed everyday. 

If you are in a situation where you are being condemned, belittled, hurt, criticized and hated because you exist then PLEASE call someone, reach out. Get Help.  There is help and their is life after the fire!   It is His promise, He will find us in our darkness, He will find us in the fire,  He will find us even when we have turned away.

I’ve lost many friendships due to the things that where said in my house under the disguised of being funny. If it hurts someone else it isn’t funny. I was the emotionally bartered woman who woke up everyday put a smile on her face, dressed up and showed up. I took care of my family the only way I knew and that was by giving all of myself to those 4 little ones who, if not for them, I wouldn’t have survived the years that I did. I wouldn’t have been able to protect them as much as I did. 

They will carry the scars because I wasn’t able to be there 24/7.  I wasn’t able to protect them from it all but I know that despite the circumstances they are strong, amazing adults who have the heart of their mother! Who have the fight of their mother, who will not let the things of the past dictate their future.  There were moments when I would let my guard down and I felt like we were on the other side of that emotional battering. Then something would happen and boom we were right back in the fight. We all walked on eggshells for years, I tried to keep us busy so that our hours in the house were few and so that my children would have a way to do the things they loved, but it was always about minimizing our risk to the enemy.

We could never be good enough, I could never be good enough. I could never DO anything good enough.

However, through the healing and walking through some really dark days and the brushing off of the ashes I have been restored, healed and I walk in the mercy of the Father. It is through the fire that my will has been forged in steel.  I thank Him every day for the mercy and the grace that He has given me. There is restoration and completeness on the other side of the fire..  I thank Him every day that I haven’t ever been one to hold bitterness and hatred for another.   I thank Him everyday for the ability He gave me to offer forgiveness when It was never asked for and never will be.  I thank Him everyday that I walk in Freedom and not in chains. I thank Him every day for the overflowing Love I have for Him because He reached down and plucked me right out of Hell and planted me in the place where He knew I could be healed. He reached down through time and space and Healed my heart so much so that it beats again, my lungs breath again, I love someone through the Love of the Father and that is the most miraculous and beautiful Love anyone can experience in a lifetime.

There is light, Love and FREEDOM on the other side of the darkness. There is a love that will reach down and pull you out of the pit, He will breathe life into your lungs, and give strength to your battered bones. He will wash away the ashes and in the place of the ashes new bones, new skin and a new soul will be forged.  He will wipe you so clean that the old you will no longer exist.  

It has been a little over 3 years since I moved to TN and His Love, Power and Spirit keep pulling me into His arms!  He refused to let me go even when I couldn’t feel Him, even when I had no idea how much He loved each of us.  He is your sword, He is your breastplate, He is your Helmet, He is your Sheild.  All the demons, principalities, and devils of this world can not reside in the presence of the Father!  So, go into the battle with Jesus! He’ll win every time.!

It seems simple, it seems easy; but when your in the furnace remember that Jesus is in the furnace with you.   Start my putting Jesus first in your thoughts and all that you do and watch Him walk into your situation and change if forever!  He will not only change your situation, He will change the very core of YOU!

We are all His children and He wants us to reside in His Fortress, He wants us to make Him our habitation.  So yield the sword, put on the helmet, wear the breastplate, hold the shield and walk into your destiny with our Father.

Daniel 3: 16-28 NIV

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. ¹⁷ If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us^[c] from Your Majesty’s hand. ¹⁸ But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

¹⁹ Then Nebuchadnezzar was furious with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, and his attitude toward them changed. He ordered the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual ²⁰ and commanded some of the strongest soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and throw them into the blazing furnace.²¹ So these men, wearing their robes, trousers, turbans and other clothes, were bound and thrown into the blazing furnace. ²² The king’s command was so urgent and the furnace so hot that the flames of the fire killed the soldiers who took up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, ²³ and these three men, firmly tied, fell into the blazing furnace.

²⁴ Then King Nebuchadnezzar leaped to his feet in amazement and asked his advisers, “Weren’t there three men that we tied up and threw into the fire?”

They replied, “Certainly, Your Majesty.”

²⁵ He said, “Look! I see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.”

²⁶ Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, “Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God,come out! Come here!”

So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, ²⁷ and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.